what we hide and what we forget
by Hotaru2
Summary: (otherwise boringly known as Tomo's secret) i'm so sorry!!! i was up late and had to much coffee!! SNIFF...yeah well its a clasic what if situation i guess


I edited this but left the original notes  
  
~Hotaru  
  
(A ... well...ummm... brain spark from Firefly. Read a fic by Merlyn the otaku "Man I feel like a woman!" (Hehe Naka-Chan in a dress teehee.Tomo in a dress THAT'S PLAIN SCARY!!!) a very funny fic, and got to discussing what would have changed anime if one of the bishounen was a female... ummm... things went from there and I think Mina's doing one. By the way if any one could point out a pairing that hasn't been done yet (Taiitsukun, Ashitare and Miboshi are excluded) could you point it out for me cause I want to dare a friend of mine but all the pairings have been taken. It's all rather obvious but I wanted to experiment with this idea... anyone who flames me will be written in a fic where I pair them with MIBOSHI!!!! (No I won't but it's a good threat) # note to self... must write more fics that aren't just about Tomo and Nakago # Song is by Britiney Spears.)  
  
Disclaimer: don't own nothing but the Aniki's (and the otooto's but they're annoying me at the moment)  
  
Warning: AU, Not a fic that Nakago and Soi fans should read, (I'm not quite sure wether you can call this Yaoi) OOC Nakago, OOC Tomo, OOC Soi. Sap, sap, sap and lots more sap. (you have been warned)  
What we hide, and what we forget, (otherwise boringly known as Tomo's secret)  
"How would you understand how I'm feeling you painted queer???" Tomo took a step back from Soi, then turned around and walked away. Black boots clicking on the stone floors. Back in the room of the Seiryuu seishi of the root, Tomo sighed and took of the crimson coat with the gold markings and washed away the opera makeup. A pale delicate face stared back from the mirror, and silver-black hair fell down around bare shoulders, the white undershirt slipping off narrow white shoulders. Dropping the illusion so strong that not even Nakago could see through it, Tomo smiled, for tonight... like most nights, the illusion was gone and Tomo would let him be her.  
  
//There's a girl in my mirror I wonder who she is Sometimes I think I know her Sometime's I really wish I did//  
  
Tomo didn't know when she'd started the illusion, around four. In order to escape the beatings her father administered she guessed. She'd known she was Tomo when during one violent beating. Her left pelvis had blazed blue and she'd disappeared into the silver shell she wore around her neck, a present from her now deceased grandfather. She'd come out of the shell later and her father was gone. She'd looked at the shell then pushed it with her finger, pressing her lips together the young Tomo had willed the blue power to come again. All of a sudden a man with pure blue hair, and funny ears had stood before her and she'd run to him, cause for some reason she trusted him, he'd held her and she felt so safe in his embrace, his clawed fingers had run over her forehead and then to her pelvis where the sign was still glowing. He'd kissed her lightly and she'd fallen into a sleep.  
  
//There's a story in her eyes Lullabies and said good byes When she's looking back at me I can tell her heart is broken, easily//  
  
She'd woken up with knowledge in her mind, and had decided at that moment to run away. She drew an illusion of being male around her, it didn't change how she looked, and she just drew it to feel safe. Gathering her few possessions in a small bag she had run from her home and into the woods. She got lost, and it was so cold, she had been soaked to the bone and had collapsed. Then she'd felt strong warm arms pick her up. Opening her eyes she'd stared into a pair of silver-blue ones, and for a moment she thought she'd died and was seeing an angel, but the pain in her cold soaked body had told her otherwise. That was Ryo Chuin, her adopted father, she'd loved him so much, and even when she was fourteen and they'd gone past her own village and she'd seen her mother and father. In fact seeing them brought round the realisation that Chuin was a better parent then her originals could be.  
  
//Cause the girl in my mirror is crying  
  
And tonight  
  
there is nothing I can tell her to make her feel alright oh the girl in my mirror is crying cause of you and I wish there was some thing I could do//  
  
He knew she was a female, he'd come in on her in the bath three days after he'd found her. She'd forgotten that she was Tomo for a while and had bound her breasts (not that they were noticeable when unbound), until the caravan was attacked. At sixteen her memories, knowledge and power had reinserted themselves. Her troupe saved, every thing fine until she was eighteen and they'd gone to the palace. She had to stay. That was the order from the emperor and Nakago. She'd hated him at first... but that had changed... they though she was gay. A short cackle escaped her lips if only they knew. She lived in fear that she'd be found out, but at the same time there was a rush.  
  
//If I could I would tell her Not to be afraid The pain that's she's feeling The sense of loneliness wills fade//  
  
She got up and put on the dress she had hidden in her trunk. Smoothing the green fabric she took a last look at herself in the mirror before slipping out of the palace and into the woods. Nakago didn't realise that the young girl named Chuien he was courting secretly at night was his seishi. She was a good actor, the best in her troupe, they had all said, even though she'd stuck to dancing. Pulling her cloak closer and waited.  
  
//So dry your tears and rest assured Love will find you like before When she's looking back at me I can tell nothing works Like easily//  
  
Nakago had been seeing Chuien for five months, she was still a virgin though, Nakago was yet to take that, Nakago mainly talked with her, she knew more about him then he'd like. She'd discovered that he didn't hate herself as Tomo, he actually respected him. He'd once made a comment that Tomo and Chuien were alike in personality and Chuien had frozen until Nakago's worried kiss had woken her from her fear.  
//Cause the girl in my mirror is crying  
  
And tonight there is nothing I can tell her to make her feel alright oh the girl in my mirror is crying cause of you and I wish there was some thing I wish there was some thing Oh I wish there was some thing I could do//  
  
A shadow fell on her and she looked into a pair of azure blue eyes, which haunted her dreams every night. Nakago smiled at her and she smiled back, wondering at the fact that he actually smiled at her, not the cold smirk he always wore. Not even Soi had seen this smile. Nakago took her hand and helped her up. He then gathered her up before she could protest, they'd teleported to the middle of the royal gardens, night blooming flowers cast heir delicate scent all around. "Sh...shogun-sama" she stuttered. Looking around her. They were close to the shrine of Seiryuu and the seishi rooms. She was jolted from her musings when a pair of strong hands gently made her sit down on a bench, right under a willow tree, the long stem like branches making a curtain. Her eyes widened as she stared into the shoguns own. They had love in them, an emotion she'd never seen in Nakago.  
  
//I can't believe it's what I see And that the girl in the mirror The girl in the mirror... Is me//  
  
"it's Ayuru... Chuien." He suddenly kissed her and she melted, her body growing warm as he pressed her to him, he wasn't wearing his armour so she felt his body heat. Suddenly her mind clicked 'Ayuru' his real name, he trusted her with this? Why? If he ever found out her deception he'd kill her. She shivered at the last thought and he wrapped his arms tightly around her. She felt something cool slide into the hole in her ear, she reached up and touched it, feeling the cold blue stud now placed there. She looked at Nakago with shock "Nani" Nakago chuckled at her confused expression. "Chuien I would like it if you would become my wife" Tomo's mind froze, panic coursed through her, before she knew what she was doing she was doing she stood up and tried to leave, but a firm hand stopped her and pulled her back down.  
  
//No Oh the girl in my mirror The girl in my mirror Is I cant believe what I see me Oh is me//  
  
Nakago nibbled gently on the shell of her ear then whispered into it "I'll give you time to decide, please......Tomo?" Tomo swallowed her throat suddenly dry "how long have you known?" a deep chuckle answered her "well after we spent the night talking in the woods and you came to breakfast with a twig that had been missed by your brush in you pony tail, and there were little things like the way you act and speak as well as the fact that your colouring is the same" he finished this by nibbling around her collar bone, until he was stopped by her dress.  
  
"Nakago-sama?"  
  
"Ayuru, Tomo or do I call you Chuien now?"  
  
"Iie, call me Chuin or Chuien"  
  
"now what did you want to say?"  
  
"Ayuru...yes!"  
//Cause the girl in my mirror is crying  
  
And tonight there is nothing I can tell her to make her feel alright oh the girl in my mirror is crying cause of you and I wish there was some thing I wish there was some thing Oh I wish there was some thing I could do//  
  
Nakago chuckled as if he'd been surprised. He held her close breathing in his soon-to-be-wife's scent and for a while they were silent, then Chuin stirred.  
  
"ano...Ayuru?"  
  
"Hn?"  
  
"what are we going to tell the other seishi?"  
  
"..."  
  
(very OOC Nakago and Tomo! And so sappy my jeans are stuck to the floor, I'm so, so sorry to every one. this is what happens when you let a girl with a weird imagination loose on unsuspecting Anime characters. Once more I tell you..... SORRY!! (Woah! # stares at screen# 7 pages??? I need to get a life)) 


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